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Who are you calling clown, Bozo? Saturday, Oct 21, 2006 By John Brummett This is the debate that Mike Beebe and Asa Hutchinson might have had, but didn't: Hutchinson: I want to do everything we can do protect these rural schools and keep the little children from spending their formative years on buses. I'm for flexible standards. Beebe: Finally, something you know about. Flexible. Like our borders when you were in charge of keeping drugs and illegal aliens out. Hutchinson: No, like you - telling those gay people you were for gay foster parents, then telling everybody else you weren't. Beebe: You have no idea what I told those gay people unless you were in the room, which maybe you were, since you're a Republican and it turns out a bunch of y'all are gay. Hutchinson: How dare you? You know I went to Bob Jones University. They expel people for being gay. I didn't get expelled. Beebe: I thought they just expelled people for being black. Hutchinson: I'm not black, either. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'd much rather be black than Nick Wilson's best pal, like you. Beebe: You ought to ask Nick Wilson about that. Hutchinson: As if anyone could believe him. Beebe: I was Nick Wilson's worst nightmare. Hutchinson: Yeah, he could hardly sleep for counting all that money he stole while you turned your head and closed your ears to Mike Huckabee's warnings. Beebe: The only warning from Mike Huckabee I ever heard was the one where he said, "Look out, folks. I'm fixin' to turn another rapist and murderer loose." Hutchinson: Well, while I'm certainly pleased to have the governor's support, I'd also hasten to point out that it's kinda halfhearted. While I admire him, sometimes when I look at his record of raising taxes and trying to consolidate schools and abusing his clemency powers, I'm thinking he must be chairman of Republicans for Beebe, or Republicans Gone Wild. In fact, I would remind you that it has been widely speculated that Gov. Huckabee and I cannot stand each other. Beebe: I can understand how both of you feel. But, hey, I'll let you put one or the other around my neck - Wilson or Huckabee - but not both. Or how about this: I'll take both. You take your brother Tim and George W. That'd be about an equal load. Hutchinson: I'm proud of my brother and my president, though I don't agree with any man on everything. You Democrats can't seem to understand that we Republicans are not clones, like you and Nancy Pelosi. Beebe: I never said you were clones. I said "clowns." Hutchinson: That kind of name-calling has no place in politics, Bozo. Beebe: Hey, that was just one time. I slept on my hair wrong. Hutchinson: Well, was that really your dog? Beebe: Hey, did you smoke that weed after you pulled it up? After that, the dialogue kind of deteriorated. ------- John Brummett is a columnist for the Arkansas News Bureau in Little Rock. His e-mail address is jbrummett@arkansasnews.com; his telephone number is (501) 374-0699. |
