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Look out - Fred's awake Saturday, Dec 15, 2007 By John Brummett Fred Thompson woke up the other day, and it turns out he's feisty and funny. If this had happened a few weeks ago, Fred would be where Mike Huckabee is now and Huckabee would be looking to open that bait shop he talks about. In fact, the book on Huckabee's surge ought to be entitled "While Fred Was Sleeping." You see, there always was a giant gaping opening for a Southern conservative in this odd, flawed Republican field. Rudy Giuliani was too liberal. John McCain was too maverick and moderate. Mitt Romney was too slick. George Allen and Bill Frist had imploded. Jeb Bush had an unfortunate last name. Thompson, fresh from the TV screen, was supposed to be the savior. But the laid-back Tennesseean entered the race without seeming energy or interest. He campaigned at the Iowa State Fair from the VIP tent. He went to Florida and said he really couldn't remember the sequence of events in that Terry Schiavo matter. One cartoon had him boning up on policy. He was in his PJs and his recliner. His reading glasses had fallen off his nose and his notes had floated to the floor. He was asleep. Into this vacuum soared the glib populist preacher from Arkansas, and now I can't answer the phone without it being somebody in the media wanting a crash course in Huckabee. So there was an otherwise horrible debate the other day in Des Moines, moderated poorly by the editor of the Des Moines Register. By "otherwise horrible," I mean other than Fred. The moderator asked some pablum about which class of taxpayers the candidates believed to pay too much or little in taxes. Romney said he didn't lose sleep worrying about the taxes rich people paid, but did worry about the middle class. Then came Fred, first funny and then funny and quick. "My goal is to get into the position Mitt Romney's in, where I don't have to worry about taxes," he said. Romney, trying to regain his footing, said he just wanted to be like Fred. Without missing a beat, Fred said, "You're gettin' to be a pretty good actor." As we used to say in school: "Touche." Of course the real winner of that exchange was the ever-fortunate Huckabee. Thompson ought to have been slapping Huckabee, not Romney. But Huckabee didn't lead with his chin like Mitt did. Then there was this: The moderator wanted the candidates to raise their hands if they believed or didn't believe global warming. I forget which. As most of the candidates prepared to elevate their sheepish limbs, Fred snapped he wasn't going to be doing any hand-raising, but that, if the moderator wanted, he'd be happy to provide a full answer. Hear, hear. These guys, and that woman, are running for president of the United States. They're not third-graders needing permission to go the bathroom. Public policy cannot be revealed by the raising of a hand. If he should somehow become the Republican presidential nominee, Huckabee will be tormented by that video of him raising his hand to say he doesn't believe plain biology. It was high time somebody put the quietus on this hand-raising. I just didn't expect it to be Fred. It looks like the Thanksgiving turkey finally wore off and that he had nothing to lose. Oh, by the way: Fred also made the point that he's the only candidate willing to talk about changing Social Security to make it viable and that people ought to look around to see which of the candidates makes them feel safest, because "that's probably who you ought to pick for president." Too late? Probably. But fun. ------- John Brummett is a columnist for the Arkansas News Bureau in Little Rock. His e-mail address is jbrummett@arkansasnews.com; his telephone number is (501) 374-0699. |
